Oh hai y'all

Did I forget I had a writing blog again? Ehm... Maybe.

I'm working on NaNoWriMo right now and putting off doing the final edits of ONCE ETERNAL for just a few more weeks. I hope to start querying soon but editing comes first and editing is important. But hopefully soon.

In other news, got a bill today from my student loan people. I owe more than I thought. Might have hid it in my sock drawer after that. Note, I rarely wear socks, so chances are I will forget it in a few days. I picked my undergrad school because it was cheap and then I got the bright idea to get my MA.

Not so bright now, are you, Megan? Nooooope.

So until I finish NaNo and come back to you all perky, I'm going to leave you with this. Be inspired.

Remember - YOU Are AMAZING

It's always about 1:00, 1:30 AM when I hit my last stride of the night. Especially when I have excruciating cramps and am cursing my womanly ways. Girly ways. I hate calling myself a woman. In my mind, I'm still a kid. I'm 24. That's not old! I'm 24, hopelessly single, in love with fictional characters or real people who I will either never meet or never have a chance with (eg NHL players - I've met many an NHL player, or Lee Pace. Oh, Lee Pace, I do love you so...)

1:30 AM is also about that time where I begin to suffer from some...self doubt, I guess. It's that time of night where I read back my work from the day, browse through Goodreads and Publishers Weekly to keep abreast of what's new in the world of fiction (my competition, LOL), check out AbsoluteWrite, hide my student loan bills, and bite my fingernails worrying about whether or not I'm good enough, whether my manuscript is good enough, whether any idea I come up with is good enough to make it.

And then sometimes I find videos like this. I get inspired and find hope and try and forget for a few minutes my overwhelming sense of failure and having a disastrous life. I do what I do because I love it. Just like why I got a Masters Degree in a subject I love and now cannot find a job in no matter how hard I try. Just like why I spent thousands of my father's money to go to Japan to live with Japanese people and learn to like cow's tongue. Just like why I set out to write a book and hopefully get an agent and get it published.

My book brings me joy - the joy of knowing YES I CAN! And YES I DID I guess now that I've got a second draft on my hands ready to go through the ringer again. I have no expectation in my life that this will be some ground breaking work. I'll honestly be content with people telling me they like what I have to say. And that girls being strong willed and feisty is perfectly okay.

Watch this and reflect on it, and remember, you are AMAZING. Everyone, no matter their skills or abilities, is amazing.

OMG, I forgot about you!

Yes, yes, I know. I've been a bad author blogger person thingy. I started this blog with the intention of updating it once a week and what did I do? I forgot about it and went back to my evil review blog. I neglected me. But that does not mean, however, that I neglected my writing.

I finished my manuscript! Yay!

I am half done with editing my manuscript! Yay!

It's out with beta readers right now who are combing it for suckage. Yay!

So, what would I call this period, the time between "OMG it's done! I should submit it now and get an agent and be the next Stephenie Meyer and rule the world with awesome!" and "Okay, I will calmly submit this, cross my fingers, and hope for the best"? The time where I bite my nails, look for jobs (still unemployed - although I did have a dream last night where I got a job, and also where my dad was inept with a camera, but that's a story for another day), diligently work on scrubbing and polishing my baby, and pray that once it's time I will have the courage to actually submit my query.

Oh, didn't tell you that part. Yeah, I have a bit of an issue called "emailingphobia". I can barely send off a resume and cover letter without freaking out and then compulsively walking around my house for 20 minutes to the front door and back. Same with phones. I can't call someone without spending 10 minutes at least staring at the phone hoping it doesn't jump up and eat me. I have social issues. Doesn't help that I know my parents are reading this right now because they google my name and tell their friends, "Aww look, our daughter is a writer! How cute. I wish she'd find a job."

I apply for jobs, parents. Stop nagging me. Blame congress. Or someone that isn't named Megan.

But beta readers? They've helped immensely.

All of them deserve the biggest hugs and shoutouts and lurving. One calls out my characterization issues while another complains I use too many adverbs. Both of which are valid points. Quickly, hesitantly, lovingly, dreadfully, sadly. I need to do a show, not tell post soon. Maybe in two months when I remember that I have this blog again and decide to post.

Well, that's it for now I guess. I need to go slay the adverb monster and rescue my main characters from the depths of character hell. Hi ho Silver, awayyyyyyyy!

Dealing with Brain Deadedness

Okay, writers (and random readers who have stumbled her mistaking me for the other Megan Ayscues, who all live down the road from me and are probably related to me - if you are them, hey cousin!). We've all dealt with that brain deadednessthingamajigwhatsitcalled. You know what I'm talking about. You stare at the screen and can't write a coherent thought. Most of the time, that happens to me when I'm writing a cover letter for a job, trying to sum up my life into 300 words that tell a potential employer why I'm perfect for the job. It happens, though, when I write.

This is me when that happens.



I pace around, go to the door, dig up weeds around my plants (many more than I have to), pour myself three cups of coffee that I don't drink, tweet like a madwoman, stalk my friends on Facebook. Okay, I'll be honest, I go on Pogo and play Risk and lose every time. I've never won.

So what's the secret to Brain Alive? You must be desperate if you're asking me. Just kidding. I have an answer.

Focus focus focus. It's simple. If you keep your eyes on the goal and know that you want to finish this story, you want to make it the best story that you possibly can, you can get things done. This past week I've had mild Brain Deadedness and I've had to force myself to continue by focusing on my goal. I want to finish a story that I can be proud of and get all the words in my head out on paper. I'm enjoying the story that I'm telling and I am it's biggest fan girl no doubt. I have to love what I'm writing in order to make myself a better writer. If you don't believe in yourself and your goal, your work will of course falter.

There will be times where you want to give up, but you can't just stand back and let your hard work go to waste. Even if this is a story for you, look at how much work you've put into it so far. Hours of pain and agony and tears maybe. Late nights before early mornings catching the train into work (yes, I was guilty of this many times). Missed time with family and friends. Wow, I'm sounding really pessimistic now, but just remember that this is your baby. Nurture it, focus on it, dress it in pretty clothes and show it off to the neighbors once it's grown and born. Pretend it's a little chihuahua and take it around town for a stroll.

Maybe it wasn't best that you asked me. Only you can know the secret to your success. My secret is just very, very weird.

Camp NaNoWriMo

Okay, okay, if you look at my sidebar, it's kind of obvious that yes, I did finish Camp NaNoWriMo. I actually had no intention of entering it until I was at the dentist on the 7th and suddenly got the catalyst to start writing Once Eternal again. This is rewrite number four really, and it's definitely the best yet. I started over from scratch for this one but it has the same characters and same flair as the dead but forgotten Welcome to Eternity, which was a two-part adult project that just wasn't there. Once Eternal so far feels much better, even if the characters are all much younger. Lexy went from 27 and a tax attorney to 17 and a high school student all over again. I think she might be bitter about that.

Last night at 12:30 AM, I hit 50K, which was my goal for the month. As of right now, I'm at 52K with a goal of between 85-90K, possibly a little under or over that (so 80-95K basically). The title is still subject to change since I've been trying to think of ideas for years, even with the previous incarnation of it. I want to be to at least 65K by this time next week, and 80K by two weeks from now. My goal is to be done with the first draft by August 17th, which will be the 6 week mark from starting it. Let's see what happens!

Halp me? AKA Editing.

So I have put off revising (for the most part - it's out with beta readers at the moment so we'll see) An Absence of Light at the moment and focused on Once Eternal (well, I call it Eternity, but seeing as how there are 500 books with that same name, that might be an issue). I'm currently at 50K roughly, and I am plotting about 85-90K. I'm not a fan of massive books or small books, I like just right books, and 90K for me is just right. I've outlined and plotted and am stampeding towards the end. But I am going to take a break from the regularly scheduled programming of gifs and rambling to talk about my number one villain, editing.

Yes, editing, that dreaded word that most authors fear. I am no exception. Having to butcher apart things I love is hard. Imagine if you had to kill your dog and reanimate it as Super Fido. Well, that's a weird idea, but it's not entirely too far off I think.

My process:

1.) Reread. If I immediately see something egregious, such as typos or grammar, I correct it. This is always my first sweep.

2.) Do I overuse words? Okay, time to cut and pull out the trusty thesaurus. On edit two, I also look at my prose, my metaphors, similes - do they make sense? Are they worth the space they're taking up? If not, out they go.

3.) Read other stuff. I need a break. Also, I use this time to apply for jobs and cry over my student loan debt. But this only serves to be a good catalyst to go onto...

4.) Does this even make sense? When in doubt, ask your beta readers. In fact, I'm kind of looking for some at the moment. A critique partner would be LOVERLY. And not one that also shares the BFF role in my life.

5.) Breathe. We're not there yet. This step is critical to any success. If you do not breathe, you will die, and then who will finish this?

6.) Edit some more! Editing is only done when you look at your baby and see Super Fido. If you see dead Fido, then you might need some help. Call Dr. Frankenstein immediately and have a word. This is a good chance to ask your beta readers again for advice.

And finally...

7.) Query time. Hopefully I will get my act together and actually press submit soon on Light. It's almost ready to go. I just need to get some feedback and then I'll send it off into the world.

Okay, I'm probably not the person to ask when it comes to editing. I've been known to whine and moan to my friends on AIM or stay up until 4 AM procrastinating on Tumblr. But please, share with me your secrets to success! I want to know!

Getting To Know You....

I'm a little...hyper this morning, so how about a few fun facts about me so you can get to know me?

1.) Chris Hemsworth. LOVE HIM.



MORE PLEASE. Okay, yeah, I just wanted to post that GIF.

2.) Weirdest celebrity encounter - Jonah Hill. I stood next to him for five minutes on a New York City sidewalk while we both argued on our phones and I didn't realize who he was until some guys asked him if he was in Superbad. I mean, I'm not a fan, but I would have at least gotten a picture!

3.) I have a Masters Degree in International Relations. I have yet to use it.

4.) I'm 24.

5.) I took my roommate to see a Broadway play and she ended up having a ten minute chat with Kenneth Cole while wearing sweatpants and Ugg boots. At the same event, I almost grabbed Lee Pace and took him home with me. I have no regrets.

6.) I was a creative writing major for two years until my hatred of 18th Century poetry convinced me to switch to political science. I have no regrets about this, either.

7.) I lived in Japan for four months in college while studying abroad.

8.) My favorite TV channel is Bravo. I love Tabatha's Salon Takeover and Millionaire Matchmaker and the Bravo episodes of Project Runway. And Work of Art, I loved that.

9.) I am a big fan of the Carolina Hurricanes and last season was my 10 year anniversary of my first NHL game. This year will be the 10th anniversary of my first playoffs!

10.) And finally, my favorite TV show ever was Farscape. Favorite movie is Aliens. Favorite book is Brave New World. Do you see a theme here?

And that's it! Now I'm sleepy and want a nap.

Real Life Gets In The Way

So yesterday I went to the beach. Didn't write.

Today I found out my grandfather has to go back to the hospital. Only wrote 100 words.

Real life just has a tendency to get in the way, doesn't it? But mysteriously, when I was in graduate school, I pounded out a 110,000 manuscript in four months between two internships (both with an hour commute each way) and a full time course load.

My main problem has always been having spurts of writing where I just sit and type and type and type until I fall asleep, sometimes at my desk or on my bed with the computer dangerously perched on my knees, and then I have days or weeks where I just can't bring myself to type anything other than celeb gossip replies.

Luckily right now, I think I'm still in the safe zone, but the fear of falling off the wagon is disheartening.

But as a bit of fun today, let's play a game of "Find Megan in this New York Times Travel Section Picture!" It was taken November 2008 in Kyoto at a cultural festival, and yes, I can safely say I am in here. The entire ceremony was these people getting dressed up, writing haikus, and then taking a shot with each one. Then there were dancers and it was a blast. Besides me and two friends, the only other non-Japanese people were the camerawoman and a pair of British tourists. Fun times.

Megan...likes music? Duh.

I thought today that I would discuss something actually related to the writing process instead of bogging you down with the details of woe is me, woe is me, can't find work, live with my parents, cat is an idiot, etc. Since I honestly can't tell you how to write a masterpiece (they've been hiding that secret from me sadly - if you find it, please let me know), I thought, well, why don't I talk to you, my friends, about music and writing?

Okay, yeah, you're probably thinking this right now...



But stay with me!

Music has the power to inspire, to encourage, to make your brain boil and explode into slimy confetti. For writing, it can be a tool or a problem. I only listen to music sometimes when I write (most of the time I admittedly watch television - most of my new YA manuscript so far, code name ONCE ETERNAL, was written while watching Parks and Recreation), but finding the right music is important. I tried writing an action sequence while listening to Bon Iver and I felt as if my character wanted to make out with the bad guys instead of ripping them a new one.

My story so far has been somewhat dark, but at the same time meant to give a feeling of starkness, disbelief, and an unusual sensation. It takes place in the afterlife, so yeah, but not heaven - not really. As the story progresses, it gets darker, moodier, and you begin to realize that the clean, perfect veneer is host to a great deal of turmoil beneath the surface.

So of course my music has shifted. I went from listening to Bon Iver wailing at me to Hybrid to Kosheen to *insert vaguely known British electronic group* back to Hybrid and randomly to Lordi. I don't really know where Lordi came from, I think it was because I have a poster of Finnish NHL players above my desk and their eyes told me that I had to listen to Finnish hard rock. I don't mind.

Randomly, though, The Fifth Element soundtrack has also been on my play list.



As the story changed, so does my music. I don't know if this is the case for all writers, but I like to create playlists dependent on the mood and feeling of what each scene is that I write.

Okay, yes, I'm sorry, I know you all just did this while reading my nonsensical rambling.



And in a writing update, I am at 31,200 words in less than two weeks. My two week anniversary will be on Thursday, but since I'll be at the beach on Thursday boiling in the sun and developing skin cancer, I need to push forward.

I hope this at least enlightened you about what my mind craves when I write. Once I finish the manuscript, I think I'll post an official play list so you can all download some inspiration-starting tunes.

Now, to pack my beach bag!

Tumblr Time? I think so!

This will be quick since I don't really have anything constructive to add besides PANTS! Oh, wait, pants aren't constructive. I'm not even wearing pants. FORGET PANTS!

Okay, I thought I would invite each and every one of you - all three of my fans, plus Jenn who stans for me on Twitter, to follow me on Tumblr at FORGET PANTS! I mostly reblog a lot of Karl Urban pictures. Star Trek. Karl Urban again. Stupid stuff. Karl Urban. Karl Urban interviews. Karl Urban gifs. Yep.

Remember, FORGET PANTS! and follow me! And invite your friends.

A Month Has Passed! Gasp!

Okay, yeah, I'm not going a good job of keeping my blog (this one at least) up to date, and that's totally my fault. I've been in the middle of writing, of reading, of applying for jobs, and dreaming about marrying someone rich and/or famous, so on and so forth. So far, I've written a lot, read some, applied for barely anything, and suffered through a month and a half of living at home with my parents while I wait for something, ANYTHING, to happen.

I've decided to start querying Light starting as soon as I've finished editing the MS. I've had some issues with believability in chapter two which I hope I've resolved, but suddenly while at the dentist the other day, I had a flash of brilliance which led to 10,000 words of a new project since Thursday afternoon. It's a YA ms based on an old manuscript of mine geared towards adults, and it will definitely be in the Edgy category, mostly because I play with themes seen in Light (it's technically the same universe, but the casual reader might not deduct that from reading until book three, maybe). Oh, and this will be a possibly trilogy, too. It's about a girl who dies and thinks she's going to Heaven when in fact it is a bureaucratic dreamland and the angels are actually government workers who make life an interesting nightmare.

Oh, and Lucifer might show up. It's urban fantasy meets a not-so-dystopian-dystopia (it's technically not a dystopia, but it has the same ideas as many dystopias have, especially in YA) meets political drama meets action adventure. And I have a masters degree in a subfield of political science in addition to experience as a federal government intern, so I plan on playing it up to the max. Hopefully it will be done within the next two months and maybe, just maybe, coming to a store near you in a couple of years. But no, my contemporary lit project (Time Traveler's Wife meets something with more action) hasn't died, but it has been pushed aside for now. Hopefully after Eternity (the YA project's first book) is done, it will come back to life.

Okay, I need to write. XOXO!

Back in NC and a Book Review

Back in NC from my trip to NJ/NYC to finish cleaning out my apartment and going to the Bronx Zoo to see some gorillas and such. Of course, we were there for almost five hours and didn't see everything. There's so much to see! Oh, well, I'll just go to the NC Zoo when I get a chance this summer.

Update on the book: refer to last update. That's as far as I've gotten.

Update on job search: sent in a few more applications. We'll see.

In other news, I finished Embassytown and you can read my review on Goodreads here. That's about all I have for today. I live a boring life.

Fourth Time's A Charm?

So I started on a new work (even though I should really work on the second book in the trilogy). And I started it again. And a third time. I'm right now on incarnation number four and I hope this one is better. It's been difficult to begin this even though I know exactly where I want it to go, and it won't be a trilogy! Huzzah! It's a standalone and probably will be around 400 pages or so. That's a guesstimate, but it won't be nearly as long as my first real finished epic novel (about 650 pages and it has chapters missing). But yeah, this is just something I'm working on on the side, especially since I'm now unemployed and looking for employment with my nice shiny new Masters degree.

So what should I talk about today? Well, I am still looking for readers for Light (which I am considering changing the name of - I thought about "An Absence of Light", and I have a few ideas for the second, nothing good so far ("Mired By Darkness"? BLAH!), and then the third would be like "Felled By Gray" or "Gray Uncaged" or something). I'm a bad critic of my own work. However, I fancy myself a good reviewer of other people's work. Probably because Megan is mean with a G.

I'm going back to New York on Wednesday to finish cleaning out my apartment and taking my mom on yet another tour of the city, and then back to NC until I find a job. Or until I get published. That would be acceptable, too. Or until I marry a rich successful sugar daddy. Not as preferable, but acceptable.

With that, I leave you with a music suggestion that I've written to. Maybe it will inspire you.

Writer's Block

So today I received word that with my final grade posted (a B in research project) I have officially been granted my Master of Arts in Diplomacy and International Relations. Yay! But since I got back home Friday from my nice, looong drive from NJ to NC, I have written exactly zilch. Zip. Nada. Zero. Zed.

I had been starting on a new project (the souls one I mentioned) but I kind of want to go back and either edit some more on the first of the trilogy or work on book two of the trilogy or even work on my freebie novel (since I have several chapters missing and lots of editing to do on that). Even reading-wise, I've gotten like 10 pages further in Embassytown.

But yeah, I really need my initial reader comments to come in ASAP so I can start on edits (of the first 50 pages at least) so I can send off some letters to agents. I am aiming to find an agent by the end of the year. But I know some of you have the manuscript and I'm hoping you'll be able to give me comments. Nice, juicy comments that will help me get published, kk?

Okay, I smell like bug spray and grass so time for my shower. And if you want to read the first few chapters book, it's on Authonomy. Go read and review.

Still Editing...

So yeah, you read it right, I'm still editing. It didn't help that I didn't have internet for 19 hours, or the fact I still have something due for an internship I completed last week (it's something like an exit writeup, but the moment I get time to write it, the internet goes out and I lose access to the do's and don'ts for it). So I thought, well now is as good of a time as any to edit my novel. Instead, I edit like one page and start reading Embassytown by China Mieville, watched two movies (Due Date and Morning Glory), an episode of the West Wing, and two episodes of The IT Crowd. And now I am thinking about going back to bed for a few hours since my head is throbbing.

And now I'm awake and it's actually six hours later because I just sat around doing nothing and listening to Marry The Night for awhile. So I'm reading China Mieville's new book and so far it's good other than the confusingness that comes with any of his books. I'm 18% in on my Kindle and he has a tendency to introduce concepts and not explain what they are for a chapter or two. And 18% in and I still don't really know what the big bad is going to be except for what I read on the description of the book. Oh, and luckily I have a Kindle with a dictionary because even I have to look up words from time to time. That's just the nature of Mieville, though!

So editing... Yeah, that's not going well. I have an urge to start work on another project but instead I'm slogging away at editing and I'm still not getting much feedback (where are you guys?!). Since I wrote this four years ago, I like to think that I've at least matured a little with practice. I have another unfinished novel (well, three of them...) that I've been able to practice on, something with vampires and werewolves as they were en vogue back in 2009 when this was written. I also have something else that's rather sci-fi with vampires and demons. Can you see that I have a tendency to stick to one area and not leave it? I rather like demons. I just have a tendency to 1.) overuse them in my stories and 2.) make them the good guys more often than not.

I've been trying to fix dialogue still and note points in the plot that seem off. It's difficult critiquing yourself subjectively because I like how my novel is, crappy or not (well, I've been told it's not crappy and that's it is actually good). I'll keep at it, but I am going back to NC on Friday and, save for one or two trips up here to get the rest of my stuff, won't be back to my beloved NYC unless I get a job up here. I'm hoping that happens, or at least a job in Washington, but let's keep our fingers crossed!

By Popular Demand, A Link to a Sample of Light!

This is going to be a short post since I have a full day ahead of me of taking my dad around NYC, but someone on Twitter said I should really post a link to a sample of my work where people can read it, so for your consideration is my sample of Light, the first book in the trilogy. It's on Authonomy, which I've decided is a waste of time, and it's pretty much unedited, but you can get the idea of what it's all about! Enjoy!

READ THE FIRST TEN CHAPTERS OF LIGHT HERE!

Inspired by Weirdness

So I went on and on about this on Twitter, but Lee Pace looks like he could be my sibling more than my sibling looks like he could be my sibling. And people have told me this, too. It's weird. But it inspired me, so I am going to share with you a plot idea that I came up with based on this. Coming soon from Megan Ayscue! A what if plot!

What if... In a world much like ours, without enough souls to go around for every living person in a world growing faster and faster each day, souls have been split into two (or sometimes even three) as people are reincarnated back into the world. The soul might be split between two persons who share sometimes more than a passing resemblance on opposites sides of the world, never fated to meet or even know of the existence of the other. If these two halves were ever to meet, the consequences would be bad. Sometimes you might see this person in a photo and think you were seeing your twin, occasionally the two halves of a whole will somehow interact with minor problems, but if the two halves were to ever meet and become one whole, the ultimate no-no, the consequences could be deadly not only for them but the entire world.

I don't know yet what the details will be, if there is some ruling force like a Great Creator or Adjustment Bureau or something like that. It could be written for YA (not my ideal area but one I could pursue) or adults. I figured that most of the time the two halves would be the same sex, but clearly there could be opposites involved. And yes, I find it rather weird that people saying we looked alike could inspire this. And for those wanting to know, my own brother is blonde haired and has much lighter eyes than I do (more blue blue while mine are blue gray).

Any comments?

Megan... is Rather Strange

If you thought I was strange, you're right. Last night I might have squeed a little when I was able to meet Lee Pace aka one of my fave actors ever after seeing The Normal Heart - which by the way is AMAZING. Go see it if you're in New York or going to be in New York before it ends in July. Well worth it, and not expensive for great seats in the last row. And Lee was awesome afterwards. I got a picture (two since the first picture messed up - he was so nice) and an autograph and a few moments of awesomeness. And yes, this is actually picture one and picture two photoshopped together. I kind of messed up on the good picture of him. Whoops.

I should probably post about my book and how the editing is going - or the writing of book two in the trilogy - but I have other stuff to do, like write this paper that is due tomorrow and then an interview and then meet with my internship coordinator for a one on one resume workshop for my real life career prospects (I get my Masters degree in International Relations in two days after all). And I have to get my cap and gown today and pack up my books so they can be taken back to NC to be stored until I find a job. Then I have to take myself back to NC for storage until employment is gained, hopefully in DC or NYC (I don't want to give up Broadway just yet). Instead, I get to go to NC, go fishing and practice wakeboarding (I'm short but so clumsy and it makes things difficult), work on my writing, find an agent, and prove someone on ONTD wrong about my fake angels and demons, since they're not really angels and demons. And if I'm still at home come September and October, I'll go see a bunch of hockey.

Until later! xoxo Meggie

Editing...my other novel

So many of you (well, all two of you right now - kisses!) know that I have an older novel making the rounds for free reading - the unedited version that has more holes than Swiss cheese. As a present for one of my Twitter followers, and because I actually like rereading this one, I decided to fix it up, make it spiffy and redo the HORRIBLE first chapter, and make it a little more presentable. My goal is to eventually put this one on Kindle for FREE as a self promotional tool to get my name out there to publishers with my trilogy kept in my bag of tricks. Especially since the trilogy steals a number of elements from the old novel except in a different plot and universe.

I wrote this novel for NaNoWriMo 2007, so yeah, it's a little dusty. And after I kept writing to it after NaNo, it's now over 160,000 words while missing chapters. It's an epic to say the least. It originally ended after about 80,000 words and then I decided to keep going. But in editing, I've noticed just how far I have come as a writer. My writing even 3.5 years ago wasn't as good as it is now, which is why I don't foresee ever getting this one - no matter how much I love it - published outside of a freebie. Besides the horrible first chapter, I've redone dialogue, entered new scenes, planned out new elements, redone characters, and tried to work with what I have. So far I've skipped ahead to the 44% mark and I'm going at a progress of about 10 pages a day of fixing things, and it will need several more edits.

I HATE EDITING MY OWN WORK! I'll be frank and say it. I'd rather write, but at the same time, I'm my biggest fan of this work because I love the plot and the characters... I even love talking about it, but it's a pain in the ass to have to go back and change stuff. Then again, in editing I find my errors. Plot holes, lack of characterization, out of character reactions, baaaaad dialogue. It's just hard to edit your own work, and it's hard for someone like me who dropped her English major in exchange for the world of political science (note - I do not regret this in the least) and doesn't know that many people with expert editing skills and the time to take pity.

So, for now, I'll keep at it, but maybe soon I can find an editor, eh?

It Begins

I guess I should introduce myself to start this blog. My name is Megan Ayscue, I am 24, and in two weeks and two hours, I graduate with a Masters degree in International Relations. And I also write. I guess what my goal in life as a writer is to write literary fiction, but for now I write paranormal junk food for your mind. I've written a few novels, one of which I will give out for free upon request since, three more of which will never see the light of day, and then another which is the reason for this blog. I actually think it might be okay, like it might be publishable, but in this market of having to push yourself out there and pray... You know, it makes me worried that I'll be told "This sucks". But anyway, let me introduce you to my novel.

Light is the first in a proposed trilogy (I have began work on the second, tentatively titled Dark, but due to school commitments since I graduate in two weeks, I'm not very into it yet). It is the story of Rebecca Townsend, a young woman age 22 who has spent the majority of her life being an outcast of the Upper East Side of Manhattan. She's been labeled as depressed, anxious, and schizophrenic because of her visions and paranoia, feelings about people and things she cannot explain. When her mother is viciously murdered and her father disappears, the prime suspect in her death, Rebecca is forced by a court to live with her abusive aunt and uncle and the door slammed on what life she had. The person who comes to her rescue is a man named Zithain who calls himself a demon, one of the very same people who is trying to control her because of her abilities. You see, Rebecca's father is one of the strongest angels in existence, leaving her a half human/half angel hybrid with powers that are thought by both sides to be the key to winning a war that has lasted millions of years, a war over who will control the Neutral Realm - the human realm.

Let me just say that these angels and demons are not religious, they are simply beings from other universes (realms) that found weak spots in the fabric of space and time and have gained the power to cross over between realms. These two universes sandwich our universe, full of lesser creatures ripe for the picking. But you can find out more about that if you read the book. Which I hope you want to based on my description.

I'm looking for an agent, a publisher, anyone who might be able to help me get my book all fancied up and published one day. If you fit this category, feel free to email me. I would love to hear from anyone who might be able to help me out!

Toodles for now,
Megan