It's always about 1:00, 1:30 AM when I hit my last stride of the night. Especially when I have excruciating cramps and am cursing my womanly ways. Girly ways. I hate calling myself a woman. In my mind, I'm still a kid. I'm 24. That's not old! I'm 24, hopelessly single, in love with fictional characters or real people who I will either never meet or never have a chance with (eg NHL players - I've met many an NHL player, or Lee Pace. Oh, Lee Pace, I do love you so...)
1:30 AM is also about that time where I begin to suffer from some...self doubt, I guess. It's that time of night where I read back my work from the day, browse through Goodreads and Publishers Weekly to keep abreast of what's new in the world of fiction (my competition, LOL), check out AbsoluteWrite, hide my student loan bills, and bite my fingernails worrying about whether or not I'm good enough, whether my manuscript is good enough, whether any idea I come up with is good enough to make it.
And then sometimes I find videos like this. I get inspired and find hope and try and forget for a few minutes my overwhelming sense of failure and having a disastrous life. I do what I do because I love it. Just like why I got a Masters Degree in a subject I love and now cannot find a job in no matter how hard I try. Just like why I spent thousands of my father's money to go to Japan to live with Japanese people and learn to like cow's tongue. Just like why I set out to write a book and hopefully get an agent and get it published.
My book brings me joy - the joy of knowing YES I CAN! And YES I DID I guess now that I've got a second draft on my hands ready to go through the ringer again. I have no expectation in my life that this will be some ground breaking work. I'll honestly be content with people telling me they like what I have to say. And that girls being strong willed and feisty is perfectly okay.
Watch this and reflect on it, and remember, you are AMAZING. Everyone, no matter their skills or abilities, is amazing.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
OMG, I forgot about you!
Yes, yes, I know. I've been a bad author blogger person thingy. I started this blog with the intention of updating it once a week and what did I do? I forgot about it and went back to my evil review blog. I neglected me. But that does not mean, however, that I neglected my writing.
I finished my manuscript! Yay!
I am half done with editing my manuscript! Yay!
It's out with beta readers right now who are combing it for suckage. Yay!
So, what would I call this period, the time between "OMG it's done! I should submit it now and get an agent and be the next Stephenie Meyer and rule the world with awesome!" and "Okay, I will calmly submit this, cross my fingers, and hope for the best"? The time where I bite my nails, look for jobs (still unemployed - although I did have a dream last night where I got a job, and also where my dad was inept with a camera, but that's a story for another day), diligently work on scrubbing and polishing my baby, and pray that once it's time I will have the courage to actually submit my query.
Oh, didn't tell you that part. Yeah, I have a bit of an issue called "emailingphobia". I can barely send off a resume and cover letter without freaking out and then compulsively walking around my house for 20 minutes to the front door and back. Same with phones. I can't call someone without spending 10 minutes at least staring at the phone hoping it doesn't jump up and eat me. I have social issues. Doesn't help that I know my parents are reading this right now because they google my name and tell their friends, "Aww look, our daughter is a writer! How cute. I wish she'd find a job."
I apply for jobs, parents. Stop nagging me. Blame congress. Or someone that isn't named Megan.
But beta readers? They've helped immensely.
All of them deserve the biggest hugs and shoutouts and lurving. One calls out my characterization issues while another complains I use too many adverbs. Both of which are valid points. Quickly, hesitantly, lovingly, dreadfully, sadly. I need to do a show, not tell post soon. Maybe in two months when I remember that I have this blog again and decide to post.
Well, that's it for now I guess. I need to go slay the adverb monster and rescue my main characters from the depths of character hell. Hi ho Silver, awayyyyyyyy!
I finished my manuscript! Yay!
I am half done with editing my manuscript! Yay!
It's out with beta readers right now who are combing it for suckage. Yay!
So, what would I call this period, the time between "OMG it's done! I should submit it now and get an agent and be the next Stephenie Meyer and rule the world with awesome!" and "Okay, I will calmly submit this, cross my fingers, and hope for the best"? The time where I bite my nails, look for jobs (still unemployed - although I did have a dream last night where I got a job, and also where my dad was inept with a camera, but that's a story for another day), diligently work on scrubbing and polishing my baby, and pray that once it's time I will have the courage to actually submit my query.
Oh, didn't tell you that part. Yeah, I have a bit of an issue called "emailingphobia". I can barely send off a resume and cover letter without freaking out and then compulsively walking around my house for 20 minutes to the front door and back. Same with phones. I can't call someone without spending 10 minutes at least staring at the phone hoping it doesn't jump up and eat me. I have social issues. Doesn't help that I know my parents are reading this right now because they google my name and tell their friends, "Aww look, our daughter is a writer! How cute. I wish she'd find a job."
I apply for jobs, parents. Stop nagging me. Blame congress. Or someone that isn't named Megan.
But beta readers? They've helped immensely.
All of them deserve the biggest hugs and shoutouts and lurving. One calls out my characterization issues while another complains I use too many adverbs. Both of which are valid points. Quickly, hesitantly, lovingly, dreadfully, sadly. I need to do a show, not tell post soon. Maybe in two months when I remember that I have this blog again and decide to post.
Well, that's it for now I guess. I need to go slay the adverb monster and rescue my main characters from the depths of character hell. Hi ho Silver, awayyyyyyyy!
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