Oh hai y'all

Did I forget I had a writing blog again? Ehm... Maybe.

I'm working on NaNoWriMo right now and putting off doing the final edits of ONCE ETERNAL for just a few more weeks. I hope to start querying soon but editing comes first and editing is important. But hopefully soon.

In other news, got a bill today from my student loan people. I owe more than I thought. Might have hid it in my sock drawer after that. Note, I rarely wear socks, so chances are I will forget it in a few days. I picked my undergrad school because it was cheap and then I got the bright idea to get my MA.

Not so bright now, are you, Megan? Nooooope.

So until I finish NaNo and come back to you all perky, I'm going to leave you with this. Be inspired.

Remember - YOU Are AMAZING

It's always about 1:00, 1:30 AM when I hit my last stride of the night. Especially when I have excruciating cramps and am cursing my womanly ways. Girly ways. I hate calling myself a woman. In my mind, I'm still a kid. I'm 24. That's not old! I'm 24, hopelessly single, in love with fictional characters or real people who I will either never meet or never have a chance with (eg NHL players - I've met many an NHL player, or Lee Pace. Oh, Lee Pace, I do love you so...)

1:30 AM is also about that time where I begin to suffer from some...self doubt, I guess. It's that time of night where I read back my work from the day, browse through Goodreads and Publishers Weekly to keep abreast of what's new in the world of fiction (my competition, LOL), check out AbsoluteWrite, hide my student loan bills, and bite my fingernails worrying about whether or not I'm good enough, whether my manuscript is good enough, whether any idea I come up with is good enough to make it.

And then sometimes I find videos like this. I get inspired and find hope and try and forget for a few minutes my overwhelming sense of failure and having a disastrous life. I do what I do because I love it. Just like why I got a Masters Degree in a subject I love and now cannot find a job in no matter how hard I try. Just like why I spent thousands of my father's money to go to Japan to live with Japanese people and learn to like cow's tongue. Just like why I set out to write a book and hopefully get an agent and get it published.

My book brings me joy - the joy of knowing YES I CAN! And YES I DID I guess now that I've got a second draft on my hands ready to go through the ringer again. I have no expectation in my life that this will be some ground breaking work. I'll honestly be content with people telling me they like what I have to say. And that girls being strong willed and feisty is perfectly okay.

Watch this and reflect on it, and remember, you are AMAZING. Everyone, no matter their skills or abilities, is amazing.

OMG, I forgot about you!

Yes, yes, I know. I've been a bad author blogger person thingy. I started this blog with the intention of updating it once a week and what did I do? I forgot about it and went back to my evil review blog. I neglected me. But that does not mean, however, that I neglected my writing.

I finished my manuscript! Yay!

I am half done with editing my manuscript! Yay!

It's out with beta readers right now who are combing it for suckage. Yay!

So, what would I call this period, the time between "OMG it's done! I should submit it now and get an agent and be the next Stephenie Meyer and rule the world with awesome!" and "Okay, I will calmly submit this, cross my fingers, and hope for the best"? The time where I bite my nails, look for jobs (still unemployed - although I did have a dream last night where I got a job, and also where my dad was inept with a camera, but that's a story for another day), diligently work on scrubbing and polishing my baby, and pray that once it's time I will have the courage to actually submit my query.

Oh, didn't tell you that part. Yeah, I have a bit of an issue called "emailingphobia". I can barely send off a resume and cover letter without freaking out and then compulsively walking around my house for 20 minutes to the front door and back. Same with phones. I can't call someone without spending 10 minutes at least staring at the phone hoping it doesn't jump up and eat me. I have social issues. Doesn't help that I know my parents are reading this right now because they google my name and tell their friends, "Aww look, our daughter is a writer! How cute. I wish she'd find a job."

I apply for jobs, parents. Stop nagging me. Blame congress. Or someone that isn't named Megan.

But beta readers? They've helped immensely.

All of them deserve the biggest hugs and shoutouts and lurving. One calls out my characterization issues while another complains I use too many adverbs. Both of which are valid points. Quickly, hesitantly, lovingly, dreadfully, sadly. I need to do a show, not tell post soon. Maybe in two months when I remember that I have this blog again and decide to post.

Well, that's it for now I guess. I need to go slay the adverb monster and rescue my main characters from the depths of character hell. Hi ho Silver, awayyyyyyyy!

Dealing with Brain Deadedness

Okay, writers (and random readers who have stumbled her mistaking me for the other Megan Ayscues, who all live down the road from me and are probably related to me - if you are them, hey cousin!). We've all dealt with that brain deadednessthingamajigwhatsitcalled. You know what I'm talking about. You stare at the screen and can't write a coherent thought. Most of the time, that happens to me when I'm writing a cover letter for a job, trying to sum up my life into 300 words that tell a potential employer why I'm perfect for the job. It happens, though, when I write.

This is me when that happens.



I pace around, go to the door, dig up weeds around my plants (many more than I have to), pour myself three cups of coffee that I don't drink, tweet like a madwoman, stalk my friends on Facebook. Okay, I'll be honest, I go on Pogo and play Risk and lose every time. I've never won.

So what's the secret to Brain Alive? You must be desperate if you're asking me. Just kidding. I have an answer.

Focus focus focus. It's simple. If you keep your eyes on the goal and know that you want to finish this story, you want to make it the best story that you possibly can, you can get things done. This past week I've had mild Brain Deadedness and I've had to force myself to continue by focusing on my goal. I want to finish a story that I can be proud of and get all the words in my head out on paper. I'm enjoying the story that I'm telling and I am it's biggest fan girl no doubt. I have to love what I'm writing in order to make myself a better writer. If you don't believe in yourself and your goal, your work will of course falter.

There will be times where you want to give up, but you can't just stand back and let your hard work go to waste. Even if this is a story for you, look at how much work you've put into it so far. Hours of pain and agony and tears maybe. Late nights before early mornings catching the train into work (yes, I was guilty of this many times). Missed time with family and friends. Wow, I'm sounding really pessimistic now, but just remember that this is your baby. Nurture it, focus on it, dress it in pretty clothes and show it off to the neighbors once it's grown and born. Pretend it's a little chihuahua and take it around town for a stroll.

Maybe it wasn't best that you asked me. Only you can know the secret to your success. My secret is just very, very weird.

Camp NaNoWriMo

Okay, okay, if you look at my sidebar, it's kind of obvious that yes, I did finish Camp NaNoWriMo. I actually had no intention of entering it until I was at the dentist on the 7th and suddenly got the catalyst to start writing Once Eternal again. This is rewrite number four really, and it's definitely the best yet. I started over from scratch for this one but it has the same characters and same flair as the dead but forgotten Welcome to Eternity, which was a two-part adult project that just wasn't there. Once Eternal so far feels much better, even if the characters are all much younger. Lexy went from 27 and a tax attorney to 17 and a high school student all over again. I think she might be bitter about that.

Last night at 12:30 AM, I hit 50K, which was my goal for the month. As of right now, I'm at 52K with a goal of between 85-90K, possibly a little under or over that (so 80-95K basically). The title is still subject to change since I've been trying to think of ideas for years, even with the previous incarnation of it. I want to be to at least 65K by this time next week, and 80K by two weeks from now. My goal is to be done with the first draft by August 17th, which will be the 6 week mark from starting it. Let's see what happens!

Halp me? AKA Editing.

So I have put off revising (for the most part - it's out with beta readers at the moment so we'll see) An Absence of Light at the moment and focused on Once Eternal (well, I call it Eternity, but seeing as how there are 500 books with that same name, that might be an issue). I'm currently at 50K roughly, and I am plotting about 85-90K. I'm not a fan of massive books or small books, I like just right books, and 90K for me is just right. I've outlined and plotted and am stampeding towards the end. But I am going to take a break from the regularly scheduled programming of gifs and rambling to talk about my number one villain, editing.

Yes, editing, that dreaded word that most authors fear. I am no exception. Having to butcher apart things I love is hard. Imagine if you had to kill your dog and reanimate it as Super Fido. Well, that's a weird idea, but it's not entirely too far off I think.

My process:

1.) Reread. If I immediately see something egregious, such as typos or grammar, I correct it. This is always my first sweep.

2.) Do I overuse words? Okay, time to cut and pull out the trusty thesaurus. On edit two, I also look at my prose, my metaphors, similes - do they make sense? Are they worth the space they're taking up? If not, out they go.

3.) Read other stuff. I need a break. Also, I use this time to apply for jobs and cry over my student loan debt. But this only serves to be a good catalyst to go onto...

4.) Does this even make sense? When in doubt, ask your beta readers. In fact, I'm kind of looking for some at the moment. A critique partner would be LOVERLY. And not one that also shares the BFF role in my life.

5.) Breathe. We're not there yet. This step is critical to any success. If you do not breathe, you will die, and then who will finish this?

6.) Edit some more! Editing is only done when you look at your baby and see Super Fido. If you see dead Fido, then you might need some help. Call Dr. Frankenstein immediately and have a word. This is a good chance to ask your beta readers again for advice.

And finally...

7.) Query time. Hopefully I will get my act together and actually press submit soon on Light. It's almost ready to go. I just need to get some feedback and then I'll send it off into the world.

Okay, I'm probably not the person to ask when it comes to editing. I've been known to whine and moan to my friends on AIM or stay up until 4 AM procrastinating on Tumblr. But please, share with me your secrets to success! I want to know!

Getting To Know You....

I'm a little...hyper this morning, so how about a few fun facts about me so you can get to know me?

1.) Chris Hemsworth. LOVE HIM.



MORE PLEASE. Okay, yeah, I just wanted to post that GIF.

2.) Weirdest celebrity encounter - Jonah Hill. I stood next to him for five minutes on a New York City sidewalk while we both argued on our phones and I didn't realize who he was until some guys asked him if he was in Superbad. I mean, I'm not a fan, but I would have at least gotten a picture!

3.) I have a Masters Degree in International Relations. I have yet to use it.

4.) I'm 24.

5.) I took my roommate to see a Broadway play and she ended up having a ten minute chat with Kenneth Cole while wearing sweatpants and Ugg boots. At the same event, I almost grabbed Lee Pace and took him home with me. I have no regrets.

6.) I was a creative writing major for two years until my hatred of 18th Century poetry convinced me to switch to political science. I have no regrets about this, either.

7.) I lived in Japan for four months in college while studying abroad.

8.) My favorite TV channel is Bravo. I love Tabatha's Salon Takeover and Millionaire Matchmaker and the Bravo episodes of Project Runway. And Work of Art, I loved that.

9.) I am a big fan of the Carolina Hurricanes and last season was my 10 year anniversary of my first NHL game. This year will be the 10th anniversary of my first playoffs!

10.) And finally, my favorite TV show ever was Farscape. Favorite movie is Aliens. Favorite book is Brave New World. Do you see a theme here?

And that's it! Now I'm sleepy and want a nap.